The next stage?

It has been 3 months and 21 days since you left us, John. In some ways it seems much longer. Now the paperwork is all done except for the last taxes next year. Life has settled into a new kind of routine.

I am now dealing with our beloved pet, Pepsi leaving us soon. My coping skills are really being put to the test. Our family is still holding tightly together and we are moving forward each in their own way.

I am learning how to make decisions on my own and beginning to see the world around me. It has only been this short time and some might wonder if I am moving along too fast, but I had been dealing with your illness for many years and part of me, I think was already preparing for your departure at some point. Maybe I had begun the mourning process already.

I am looking forward to a vacation in 2 weeks. It has been a long time since I had been able to go and do things without worrying about how you were and knowing you could not enjoy so many things any more. You still enjoyed all that you could every day and I think I should take a page out of your book. Enjoy each day as much as I can.

I love you John and for 30 years you were a part of every day. Now, I still think of you daily and part of my wishes you were here to still enjoy the things of this life and maybe I can focus on enjoying them on your behalf.

There are still some times of tears but not every day and I can really enjoy some things again.

This has become a babble so I will end for now.

— Kareen
Sat, Jul 21^st, 2012 · 7:51pm ↑

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