Control in my life

Is this just an illusion or can it be possible?

Can anyone truly have control in his life?

So many times I feel like life is spinning out so fast and I can't keep up. I can't seem to accomplish what I need or what I perceive I need to accomplish every day.

I have always been one who tends to be optimistic when ever possible and yet I can be very pessimistic at times. Maybe nothing will ever change but maybe some things can change. Maybe I can change bit by bit. Is it possible? Have I got something in my past I can look back on to say yes, I have changed things in the past?

Maybe I do or maybe that is just an illusion as well.

I know I have learnt many things and use that knowledge but is that real change or just using knowledge to it's best advantage for me?

ok so maybe my cold fever is getting to me or maybe it's just that once again I find myself with some spare time to think and re evaluate what I am doing with this life I have been given.

Today I bought a new scale and will try once again to lose some weight and get into better shape. I don't know if this time will be more successful then the past but I know I can't keep going like I am.

Part of me wants to just eat everything but I think that is more my frustration. tension. etc talking.

This time I have a friend who will be asking me each week how I am doing which should help some. I have to do something positive, to gain some sort of control or at least get back that illusion.

— Kareen
Fri, Oct 5^th, 2007 · 7:59pm ↑

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